Maybe Not!

The question was posed the other day on Facebook if two people who were at one point madly in love could truly be friends after breaking up and if so does that mean that they were never really in love in the first place.

There were lots of responses, someone felt that it meant one person was holding on, still in love hoping the other would eventually come around. Another felt that there was no way the love could’ve been real if they could walk away so easily only to come back as if nothing every happened between them. It brought to mind that song by Deborah Cox and RL “We Can’t Be Friends”.  I love the song and the message it held and I personally would have to say I agree. After going through a break up that cut me to the bone, I can’t say I would likely want to be friends. Because even once you let go of the  hurt and the anger all you’re left with is the true feelings, the love that is still there, if in fact it was real at all. So my answer to the question was no, two people who called themselves madly in love can’t realistically go back to being just friends. It’s not emotionally possible. Physically yes but on an emotionally level someone is always going to have that “what if” or “maybe” in the back of their mind clouding judgment and jeopardizing the supposed friendship. Unfortunately it is usually the woman who is stuck in the predicament of trying to bag a puff of smoke, or hold on to something that never really existed in these types of relationships. Women by nature are emotional creatures so a breakup always hits us harder than it does a man. And instinctually we want to fix whatever is broken and salvage the relationship, well that always isn’t the best thing to do. That much I do know. So yes: WALK AWAY. It will save both of you a lot of heartache and grief in the long run.

Now I’m not saying that after some time, even some years, have past that maybe a friendship can’t be fostered but in the beginning. No. It just doesn’t compute. If one person baits another into a relationship with promises of love and forever afters there is bound to be animosity on some level if there is a split and that doesn’t go away overnight. Especially if that other person just wakes up and decides to pull a bytch move and just leave the other hanging with no real reason or the classic “I can’t handle a relationship right now” excuse. To that all I can say is grow up people. Emotions, feelings and everything that comes along with them are real and in my personal opinion to play on someone’s feelings then extend a hand of friendship is like a slap in the face, but that’s just this diva’s opinion. You’d be better off just pointing and laughing and telling everyone how you got one off on the person. Why insult someone’s intelligence when the writing’s on the wall? A liar and a user will always show their true colors. They can’t help it because they don’t know how to function normally or in a normal grown up relationship. My advice to you is when they show their colors, do believe what you are seeing and turn and go the other way. It’s for the best because they aren’t going to change and they don’t deserve what you have to offer.

She loves you….He loves you not….He loves you….She loves you not…..

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One thought on “Maybe Not!

  1. imccdamit says:

    Good one. I’m going through this right now. It hurts my heart and soul and he appears to not care at all about breaking up, but wouldn’t mind hanging out! UUUUGH!

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