Never Sorry

I’m borrowing the quote from Johnny when he’s leaving in his car in dirty dancing. Baby replies, “Neither will I.” And I know how that feels. It’s corny but true. I know what it’s like to be in the epitome of utter happiness and think you’ve found the one. Center of someone’s world and totally amazed that they would take the time out for you because to you they’re something amazing. To love and be loved is an amazing thing. I have loved and I have felt love. I know what a racing heart is and a breath caught in your throat. I know what worrying about viewing yourself as ever perfect enough for someone you view as more valuable than the air you breathe. I can never regret something that once made me smile or made me so happy I cried. I’ve only been that way once in my life. It was like my fairytale. I was Cinderella, snow-white, and sleeping beauty all in one and you were my prince. I have felt love and from feeling that I know I never want to be without it. I chase it. I dream about it. I cry about it. And I smile over once were memories and the hope of the ones to come. I’m a dreamer so I’m going to dream about this amazing thing called love because I can. Because I actually do know what it is. So many people have no clue but I do. I go through life wishing for one thinking hoping for that one moment to define life and make it amazing that thing called love. I can’t put into words how love feels but I try. It’s my heart racing, breaking into a cold sweat when he touched me, heat at his kiss, and crying at night because I was so happy. I hardly slept at night, woke up at 3 am with a huge stupid grin on my face and wasn’t able to sleep till the next night if the same thing didn’t happen again. I was head over heels forever fallen so totally in love. I laughed for no reason because I was just so happy. My eyes sparkled and he was my only thought. If he had told me what to do I would have done it and then asked if there was anything else with a smile. Because all I wanted was him happy. I would have given up anything at all no matter what it was. I would have changed anything about me. I would have done anything just for time with him. I would have taken a bullet, done anything for him. Love is bringing yourself to the total point of doing anything for someone, anything at all. Love is humility. You’re so happy in their presence. Feeling this security but still scared that they would ever leave because they meant that much. There’s this heat and it washes over you bringing you to the floor and you know you just know this is meant to be, this it. Cry a million tears if ever things end. Cry a million tears even if things stay. Love is tears, grit and honor, always the tears. Love is too great for words. I can only try to say the half of what I feel. LOVE AMAZES ME. It’s a prize. It’s a gift. It makes me smile, makes me cry, makes me think, and makes me want more. Love is to be valued no matter how long you have it or how short. To receive or give either or, is something great indeed. It has a way of taking over and controlling you. Love amazes me and I wouldn’t change my past ever. I wouldn’t go back and never love him. LOVE AMAZES ME. I’ll never be sorry…

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