Issues

I’m not the best at expressing how I feel. I often use the wrong words and say the wrong things. I can express my feelings better by writing them, I can actually let it out without having to take back my words. I bet many people are like this, I closely relate that to trust.

I personally have a hard time trusting people. I know I have said it plenty of times before, but I have trust issues and I’m fine with that. I have learned to come to terms with myself with that sucky reality. I wish I can trust people more, I wish I can take their word when they tell me that they paid $1599 for that bag or for me to believe when they tell me they miss me. To me it’s all bullshit.

I know the reason why I don’t trust. Because unlike most people, I trust people right away, like why lie to someone who you are just meeting or trying to get to know. So yeah, I trust 100% but then if I ever find out that one lie was told, that 100% flips to .001% in other words I no longer believe anymore. So yes, I am going to question what you were doing last night, and I probably won’t believe it, so in end. The trust is lost.

How to get the trust back… Remember when you were smaller and love going down the hill in a bike/roller skates.. It’s a similar situation. It’s very easy and quick to go down.. But coming back up.. Uugghh it’s long, hard and dreadful in that 90 degree sun. So gaining the trust back is tough, because once you lied, it’s easy to get back into the habit and it’s very addicting too, so best to believe that only time can tell how long it would take for me to trust again.

And why am I like this? Because I lied before. And I know how easy it is to think that you can always get away with it. Honesty is the way to go. So there for, when I express my feeling or things that go on in my life I always fuck up and say the wrong things… I don’t know how I really feel about telling people my situations. I don’t trust often.

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

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