Loneliness

Or is it lonely and desperate?  Either way, feeling that way can cause you to make some really bad decisions.  I was reading this article today and I don’t remember where it was but a girl wrote about how being lonely made her make a really dumb decision.  To date her best male friend.  As I read the article I was trying to figure out what she was talking about. Her and this guy were never dating.  The only thing they both agreed on was an attraction.  They were friends. They hung out together and did everything friends do except sex I think.  She didn’t say or deny it since someone else had asked her the question.  The problem was that she made more out of their mutual attraction than he did because she got her feelings hurt when he mentioned that he was seeing someone who he had wanted to get back with for a long time.  Which brings me to my title.

Being lonely can cause us to make some really bad choices like dating your best male friend.  I understand that everyone wants to be in a relationship but we also want to be in a healthy relationship.  There is a difference between being lonely and feeling lonely.  What I do when I am “feeling” lonely is to go do something.  Anything.  I surround myself with people, engage in conversation with someone at the mall, grocery store or wherever I find myself.  It doesn’t matter.  I can cure that feeling of loneliness.   People notice their aloneness more when they are bored and I don’t think they can quite tell the difference.  Now being lonely is another story.  When you long for companionship, someone to hug you or hold you, kiss you hello and goodbye,  a warm body to snuggle up with at night but each time you look over at the other side of the bed and its always empty yup you start to feel it.  But that is not the time to just choose any jerk who crosses your path and that includes your best male friend.  This girl also did not have any female friends. She said the ones she worked with she didn’t like.  I wonder why.

If you surround yourself with male friends only then a man will never know if you are single and available.  Having women friends is important.  Most of the time we will call you on your shit or help you get over yourself.  Men will take advantage of your vulnerability.  A man can smell desperate and lonely one hundred yards away.  It’s like wearing a bulls eye on your forehead or a neon sign that is blinking pick me pick me plllleeeeassse pick me.  What you should do is busy yourself with other things.  Life will pass you by if you are just sitting around waiting for the right man.  You want Mr. Right not Mr. Right now.  If your life is full of all the things you enjoy including family and friends you will be too tired to notice how lonely you are and when you do that he just might show up when you least expect him to.  Keep your eyes on the prize and don’t settle out of loneliness or desperation. You’ll heart will thank you.

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