UnPerfect

There are times when I feel the pressure of needing to be able to do ‘everything’, from keeping a good g.p.a to being the perfect daughter, heavily weighing upon my shoulders. There’s nothing worse than the feeling of not being ‘good enough’. As time passes, you begin to wear and tear on the inside; you begin to feel defeated and end up loosing faith in yourself. All the demands and pressures suffocate you and you end up loosing your way. But, like most things in life, it can be avoided and prevented… the feeling of suffocation and self-disappointment I mean. There are so many people out there who live like the world is on their shoulders. They become masters of disguise and perfect little liars. What I mean is that when we deny ourselves the truth, that we cannot handle everything on our own, we begin to lose sight of what is real in our lives. Our aim for perfection and our ambition for success can drag us down more than anything. On the surface our achievements can be seen and admired by all, but on the inside, most of the time, it isn’t as pretty. For myself I used to feel like I had to be the ‘perfect daughter’, as I am my parents only child. I felt like I had to make them proud with everything I did, and that meant not ‘screwing up’. When my mind was in this state I felt like I had to lie to cover up my faults; I felt as if I just pointed out the flaws of others, mine would be less noticeable. But all that did was make my guilt and shame rise to the point where I lost it. I broke down. No more was the strong girl who thought she could handle everything on her own. I finally realized that it was time to be honest with myself, I had to make myself aware of my limitations. I was not superwoman. By realizing that I could not be perfect, I became my perfect ‘un-perfect’ self. I felt lighter, I felt more confident, more energized, happier and most of all I felt as if for the first time in a while I truly was content with who I was.

When we realize that we cannot control everything we begin to see the world in a better way. We begin to love ourselves and others around us more deeply. Our mind is clearer and our decisions are more focused. Our flow of inspiration is more abundant and our interest in life increases. When we let ourselves crumble before the demands and pressures to be ‘perfect’ we lose our ability have a voice and our ability to shine. Let us begin and continuebeing honest with ourselves… as much as we want to be able to do ‘everything’, it isn’t possible. Let us just go forth and do everything to the best of ‘our’ ability and see how life turns out. I am told that most of the time ‘letting go’ of perfection allows us to become ‘perfect’.

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