Rules of Relationship

Women have to follow the standard Rules of the Game – even if we think we live in the purportedly progressive 21st century where men and women are equal (whatever that means), the game is still very much a complex and ambiguous environment and men tend to have the upper hand.

But this is because they are spoiled and have become used to women bucking to their every whim and desire, falling over themselves to get their attention, and reeking of desperation. “Bad” women have turned men into effeminate, immature, and selfish creatures. Let’s break this cycle and improve the quality of men — it starts with a few key rules impacting our behavior and interaction with the opposite sex.

Rule 1: Let the Man Take Charge

He has a penis, testosterone, and heavy, insurmountable pressures on his delicate ego. Yes, men are delicate flowers, just as much as women, if not more. In fact, there’s really little diffference in the sentimentality between the sexes — it is the societal gender roles which force men to act in certain acceptable ways. Humor him, let him take the initiative (even if you are Limbaugh-esque “feminazi”), and let him bask in his “role”. You will have your own feminine role to play, so focus on that and do it with grace. It’s like a social courtship that needs to be done to filter out those people, men and women, who can’t adapt to societal norms. Once the dance is over, you can enjoy each other’s individuality but always remember: the man needs to feel like a man. Be delicate, childish, helpless…sometimes. It’s OK.

Rule 2: Keep Your Autonomy

Seriously, you know those crazy bitches who resign all former realities/identities to seem more palatable to some guy they’re dating. He’s the Apollo in their heliocentric world and they think there can be nothing he could like more. Yes, there are men who like their women to grovel and have no life outside of the relationship, but those aren’t men in my book, so scratch them out of your little black book. You have your expectations, needs, plans, and goals — not in the relationship or in the dating circus, but in life. A man is only one part which will make you happy. No man can ever make you compeltely happy and give meaning to your life. Do you, be the boss, and the men will flock.

Rule 3: Scrap the “Rules” You Were Forced to Adapt

The poison to the modern woman: “rules” on dating, faux-pas lists, Cosmopolitan magazine, etc. This trash has no place in your life, so do what you do with trash. Modern pop culture pushes not only images and standards of beauty, but modes and norms of behavior when it comes to dating, relationships, sex, etc. Leave the pop culture bubblegum tips&tricks to teenagers and the average women we can call “mediocre” at best. There are no rules, per se. Rather, there are signals and signs we have to be perceptive to pick up and read. A rule you can memorize and carry out, but there is no sophistication or understanding behind the complex ways of human emotion/sentiment. Make your own rules — and in fact, men are primitive and will pick up on your unique charm. You will stand out from the crowd not because you are trying to but because you are so above it. Enjoy!

Rule 4: A Liberated Modern Woman Does Not Mean a Slut

Many women confuse being “a modern, progressive, liberated woman” (grrrowl!) with being promiscuous and airing their vadges to and fro. Wrong. And then they wonder why they don’t feel stronger or more empowered! Really, it is another way of conforming to a system of pop culture expectations or misunderstood feminism. Keep your dignity, self-worth, and genital well-being in check, ladies. The worst part: men get used to women like this and assume all women are “liberated” and will want to get liberated on their futons later in the evening.

Rule 5: Follow Your Instincts, Read Him Effectively

Think of a time when your instincts were wrong. Now think of a time when your instincts were right. The latter>>>the former. This applies to all scenarios, including dating. If something is striking you as “off”, despite your logic and reason telling you it is nothing important, try to listen to your gut or identify the source for its concern. There are things the mind perceives which are not conscious and it is hard to verbalize or justify or explain them logically — but when you get that nasty tasty in your mouth after a perfect date, it’s time take a seat and think hard.

Rule 6: Don’t Divulge Everything, Keep Your Mystique

Seriously, no one (male or female) cares about your vast collection of vintage Zeppelin concert T-shirts, your love of Keroppi, or your passion for the silent films of the golden age. Also, the same applies about your views on abortion, marriage, euthanasia, gender equality, gay marriage, etc. Furthermore, the very same principles are applicable to basically everything. The more you say, the less he’ll be interested. Take your time, keep him guessing, and let him ponder. Especially about your past, your present, and where you see him fitting in your future.

Rule 7: Know How to Flirt

Wow, there are so many girls that can’t flirt. It’s so painful to watch, especially if they have everything else going for them. The problem is…you can’t be taught how to flirt. It’s a feminine instinct and comes out naturally. My only advice is: practice and let loose. It’s a fun sport and if you are witty, extra points. Again, let me reiterate: practice. There’s nothing more embarrassing than a botched opportunity with a hot piece due to awkward silences, career-talk, and lack of innuendo. Even more extra points if you make him blush and make him subconsciously touch your arm/other harmless limb.

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