I am a complicated kind of girl. I keep the real me to myself. Why? Because that way you can control what hurts you. I come across feisty, flirty, loud and open about things. How ever, this is my shell… it protects me. I can control some of what people think about me as I am purposely trying to come across a certain way. So if someone thinks I am a bitch, that is because I am acting like one so they think it not because deep down I actually think like a bitch.
For example, if I like someone a lot but think that they will hurt me or hurt someone in the process of being with me or I think they are better off I will push them to someone else… therefore protecting myself and everyone else.
I seem a strong girl who will grab what she wants by force but I am not, I won’t put myself out there in fear of rejection or failing.
If someone puts me down it takes a lot to recover from it.
I talk of love being amazing and it being something you shouldn’t run from… but since letting my first love see the real me, I’m afraid of love and I run from it.
I put others hearts in front of my own even though they don’t notice it.
I help people sort things out if I think it is in their best interest, no matter how much I may hope they don’t sort it out.
If I think I deserve something more than someone else, like a once in a lifetime opportunity, I will still give that opportunity away.
I’m ambitious but sadly my overly guilty mind, means I give up on things so others can have it.
I don’t want to be a bitch that stands in people’s way because I hate those that are in my way.
I try not to be a hypercrit but I am one.
I pretend not to care what people think of me but I care about it too much.
I can’t handle being hated.
I have a lot of confessions and these are just a scratch on the surface.