Is laziness a disease? How can some people be too lazy to change out of their pajamas all day long, while others wake up at 5am with every minute of their day planned out so not a minute is wasted? When and why do I feel most lazy?
These questions and many others float through my mind on a daily basis. Often I feel like I’m wasting my time. There are so many times that I am plagued by the guilt of not doing something. Anything.
If ever I have a day where there are no plans, I don’t need to work, and I’m totally content sitting around watching movies- I can’t do it in a relaxing way. There’s always a voice in the back of my head telling me that I shouldn’t be allowed to ever actually rest.
I’d hate to word it as feeling undeserving of relaxing time because that sounds like I have low self-esteem and I don’t want to believe I do, but in a way that’s how it feels. I can’t watch TV for longer than an hour without grabbing a notebook to write while I do it, or my phone to tweet, or my nails to paint, or a magazine to destroy.
It’s a compulsion. The only time I feel “okay” doing nothing is when I’m meditating. Yeah, I meditate. It sounds corny and I don’t do it as much as I would like to, but in those moments of silence and blankness… I feel truly relaxed. I allow it to happen because in the moment it is hard work to maintain perfect posture and not think about anything at all while I breathe deeply and slowly. It’s my most peaceful time.
Oh, and when I’m not worrying about all the things I should probably be doing instead I’m worrying about choosing the right activity to do that is “worthy” of my free time. I also think about the time and effort involved and if it’s worth it in the end. All this over thinking really takes a lot out of me. It’s exhausting. I cringe trying to imagine someone else hearing about how I spent my free time.
“So what’d you do with your day off?”
“I sat at home in my underwear and cut up magazines to stick on my walls and inside my journals all day.”
Sounds like a complete waste of time. Maybe it is. It feels constructive in the moment though! Let’s not even talk about the real physical activities I could be doing, like going for a hike, a bike ride, or an adventure around town. All things that sound like way more fun than what I just described and would clearly benefit me more. So why does laziness confine me to my home? Worse yet, why do I enjoy it so much?
Is laziness genetic?
How lazy are you?
If you had to rate yourself on a scale of 1-10, 10 being you’re the laziest person alive, what would your number be?
I’m a solid 5.