Pedicures are one of the best things in life. I swear by them. Everybody over the age of 21 should get them regularly. I don’t think children need them, but I don’t know shit about children so maybe they do. I’m just saying once you hit twenty-one years old you’ve probably done some shit with those feet that could use a good old-fashioned scrubbing from a stranger. You’ve walked one too many places barefoot or gone sock-less in your shoes too often to deny it. (I go sock-less all the time) I’d say if you’re a woman who likes to treat herself, a GOOD pedicure should be part of your routine monthly. At least twelve times a year. Doesn’t that sound awesome? Men too. A nail polish finish isn’t required and you’d be amazed at how soft and supple your feet can be. I’d gone past a month on my pedicure so I went today with a friend. It was enjoyable (except for the part where they scrub your feet hard with that stone and it tickles me so much I want to SCREAM!), and the polish I picked is pretty. After my pedicure I was getting a manicure and this man who was probably in his late fifties showed up alone to get a pedicure. You know what my favorite part of getting a pedicure is? When they bust out the razor, aka “The Potato Peeler.”

I love that thing! I know it’s gross but I can’t help it. If you don’t know what it is, it’s basically a potato peeler for your feet. It thinly slices off the dead skin on your feet you didn’t even know you had. Apparently it’s also known as a “corn cutter” which repulses me. I don’t have corns. Really! I glanced over at dude’s feet when she had the peeler on him and it looked like she was legitimately peeling potatoes. The skin that was coming off that dudes feet was dark as potato skin and all brand new underneath. He was chatty too. Going on and on about how much his wife raves about the salon and how she made him come down for his first pedicure ever. He wanted to be sure we all understood that this was his first pedicure. Ever. FIRST PEDICURE FOLKS, RIGHT HERE. HAPPENIN’. FIRST TIME. I couldn’t watch his whole peeling but I made sure to look over at him when she was rubbing him with that tickle-stone and he was making the holding-in-a-fart face so I know he shared my feelings for it. I wonder if those ladies ever want to gag or vomit when they see someones toes. Even if you think you have some ugly toes you should get a pedicure just once. Fucking DO THAT. Put it on your bucket list. It’s like 45 minutes of your day and if you go to one that is really nice they will have massage chairs that don’t just punch you in the back repeatedly like the fists of a toddler, new magazines and flat screen tvs (oddly enough usually playing sports), and some even offer you wine or soft drinks. OH PLUS sometimes they give you a little mini massage as well. You can get wild and add treatments and masks (but even I don’t do all that) and really get your pamper on. It’s not even that expensive either. $30 on average with a manicure or $18 without a manicure as well. So worth it. Do it.

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One thought on “Necessity!!

  1. Ms. Nine says:

    I’m on the short side of 60 and my children paid for my first one – a Mothers’ Day gift. What a pamper!

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