The Ex Exchange

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I have em, you have em, we all have em… the stories about your Exes. Every time we begin a new romantic relationship, there is a ritual that we do where stories about our past relationships are exchanged with one another. These stories are helpful because it gives each participant an idea of how the other person handles relationships, without actually committing. If you’re smart, you’ll pay attention when this conversation is happening so that you can plan your course of action throughout the relationship.

When I say “plan your course of action” I literally mean developing a strategic plan that will ensure that you are successful in the relationship (success = getting the other person to like you). All you have to do is avoid the mistakes the previous person made and/or amplify the positives he/she has done. For example, if she tells you she was physically abused in a past relationship (and she’s not into that) it would be wise of you to not be physically abusive. Now when you think about amplifying some of the things he/she likes, make sure that you don’t copy it exactly, that’s lame. If the girl in his past relationship did “x” and he liked it, you should do “x+1”. For example. if she always cooked for him, you should cook and clean.

Knowing that the other person may use your Ex story to their advantage, you’re probably wondering how much you should reveal? I think the more you reveal the better your chances are of communicating your likes and dislikes. It would only help the relationship in the future. You can’t hold them responsible for things you haven’t told them.

The next time you exchange Ex stories, pay attention, take notes, make a plan and you’ll be on your way to achieving success in your relationship.

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