Finding the right words to say is so hard sometimes.
You think up exactly what you’ll say and how you’ll say it in your head, but when the words try and escape your mouth, they become overpowered by your own emotions; like fear…fear of not wanting to say the wrong thing, or fear of wanting to sound like you actually know what you’re talking about, or fear of trying to say the right thing for someone else to respond to. ESPECIALLY when it’s someone you like. Oh god! When you like someone and you attempt to speak with them, your insides are all over the place.
You could think of the most elaborate, well-thought out thing you want to say in your head, but as long as fear interferes with your ability to think clearly, you’ll only wind up speaking like a 10 year old with a not-so-expansive vocabulary.
This is why it’s easy for people to express their feelings correctly through writing because you’re practically alone in your thoughts. You actually have more than enough time to think about exactly what it is that you wanna say, and the other advantage is that you can actually “backspace” and delete whatever it is you don’t feel belongs with what you’re trying to say.
When we try and attempt the same process when speaking out loud, or to another person that we want to impress, we just end up with long random pauses; the “um’s” and the “uh’s” to try and give our brain a few seconds to process what it is exactly that we wanna say. The person you’re talking to will definitely begin to notice and sometimes even stare you down in hopes to hear your response, or hear what it is exactly that you’re trying so hard to say. That’s usually where fear kicks in. You want to say the right thing, but you’re having a hard time because the other person is making you so nervous. That’s typically when you just want the conversation to be over because you can’t think of what it is exactly that you’re trying to say. So you more than likely settle for whatever word you can think of that has some relevance (if at all) to what you’re saying, or you just end the uncomfortable conversation with “I don’t know,” when you actually do. You’re just having trouble saying it properly.
Finding the right words is so hard because we allow fear to overpower them.