Flux

Things in my head and my heart are constantly in flux. We are on the verge of changes, as is always the case, the seasons will change, my mind will change, life in general will keep changing. I look at my Little Man as he grows and I see glimpses of the changes….the growth. One minute an insecure little boy who wants and needs to cuddle with Mama, the next a wise soul with lessons to teach the world.

I wonder if it’s easier to deny the passing of time when you don’t have children. Are they not our markers? They certainly seem to be. I watch the leaves grow on the trees every spring and watch them fall every autumn and yet nothing makes me know the beat of time marching more than my child.

The biggest problem I have is that I have a tendency to be impatient. I yell at time, “Hurry Up!!!” because I’m ready for change or for something to be different, but then I look around and it feels like it has. I’m going to blink and this moment will be gone. I’m going to blink and my son will be tall and grown and responsible (knock on wood). *sigh*

So I am giving myself a moment to mourn what I’ve lost already, look forward to the beauty that’s to come and then I am going to breathe and live fully in this moment.

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One thought on “Flux

  1. I like the analogy of our children as time markers. I found myself doing that many years ago with my oldest son, now he is on the verge of graduating high school, when yesterday it seems like he was starting per-school.

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