The Heart Grows

Almost everyone has heard the adage of, “distance makes the heart grow fonder, [and if it doesn’t work out, you’ve always got vodka]“. Okay, the vodka part is not included in the quote, though most times when relationships do tend to fail, we’ve always got our closest friends and a bottle of vodka close by our side, more or less.
Relationships these days seem to be thrown around like they are nothing special and when the slightest sight of loose thread appears at the seams, the relationship is thrown away because it is “broken”. But is it to the point of being ruined beyond repair? Of course not. The thing I’ve noticed about my generation (Gen Y), is that relationships seemed to be done half-assed. In the beginning of liking someone, the efforts you pull to show them how you feel are obvious, as are the motions that are reciprocated back. However it’s not the beginning of the relationships that need fixing, it’s the middle and the end.

A friend of mine was dating someone and confessed that they were fighting almost all the time, mind you, they were only dating for a month and had not even given themselves the title of “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”, she said, “it’s like we completely missed the honeymoon phase of our relationship”. The misleading thing about the honeymoon phase of the relationship is that, sometimes you don’t start to see your potential partners “real side” until low and behold, you’re official and the crazy comes out. We all crave the honeymoon phase; the courting, the small gestures in between, the wining and dining. Everything that makes dating so fun. But throw a little conflict and differences in the mix, or a text message read incorrectly and BOOM! It’s over. We have grown so dependent on working for what we want, no-holds barred, however once we get it, it’s like the chase isn’t worth the prize anymore.
A little jealousy and small bickering is healthy in a relationship, it shows that there’s still fire, that there’s something that is still worth fighting for. However we also need to learn that once the going gets tough, we shouldn’t bail. We shouldn’t need to bail, because that person should still be worth it to you. My generation (not all, as I’m sure there are still some people that do make the genuine attempts at relationships), need to take a leaf out of the older generation’s book. Almost every relationship, whether it be friendship, partnership, long-distance relationship/friendships are worth fighting for. And that you have to fight for the person you care about, because once that fire is gone, what left is there to salvage?
Heartbreaks don’t usually occur because the love isn’t there anymore it is usually for lack of effort. No one likes to feel like they aren’t worth it to you anymore. We need to learn to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes, see things how they’re seeing it. We have all this technology to work and play around with. Yet the thing most relationships these days lack, is communication.

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