Go With The Flow

I wish I can just go with the flow… Or live for the moment… Everything seems so much more beautiful when you’re living for the moment… When you stare out your window for rain drops… As you sit on a bench watching leaves fall… As you stick out your tongue for the first snowflake in the winter… But the truth is… I’m so terrified of what the future might bring… Because I know too well what my past has brought me… That I plan ahead of time thinking I’m doing the right thing… That I screw everything up… By thinking things thoroughly… I only make a mess of it… I’ve been hurt so many times… I’ve been down so many times… There’s so much about me people don’t know… But I’ve gotten used to always picking up the pieces to my heart after its been broken… That I think I might have missed a piece… That’s why I am the way I am… Maybe I’m still broken… Maybe I’m not… Maybe I’m just finding my way through life as I muddle through it hoping I’m doing it right… Maybe one day I’ll grow out of my fears… Maybe I’ll learn to live in the moment… But right right right now… I still have scars that have not yet been healed… I still have tears that hold words that have yet been said.. I still have prayers that have not been answered…. I can’t give someone a chance… If I haven’t given myself a chance to heal and move on. Even if I’m moving on from the person I once was… I wish I can just go with the flow… Or live for the moment…

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