Tag Archives: Cheating

Damaged Heart

You may be capable of forgiving, but the forgetting part is out of your hands. Forgiveness is nothing to scoff at though, it takes a hell of a person with a mighty generous heart to experience some type of traumatizing betrayal and accept an apology. And people can be ruthless, so it’s not a given that you’ll even receive an apology at all. It forces us to deal with the wrongdoings internally before we can move on with life. Still — as difficult as forgiving may be, it’s ultimately up to you. The forgetting however, is not.

People seem less and less thoughtful about their actions. A moment of pleasure is constantly being chosen over potential years of reliability and happiness. Then, when the flash of indulgence is over, consideration for what has been done begins. People may start to feel bad; others may just feel scared that the truth will come out. For some it will take being caught to find out, for others, their conscious forces them to confess, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

So whatever happened is now carved into your brain. It has left an unpleasantly deep wound that hurts regardless or apologies, excuses or explanations. You’re officially damaged and what people fail to realize is that it’s permanent. Playing with emotions, cheating, screwing people over, breaking trust – these things are taken lightly nowadays, and I can’t fathomwhy. When you do any of those things to a person, you are leaving them emotionally disabled for some time. We rehabilitate and when we do eventually “get over” things, all that means is that we’ve figured out a way to walk without each step hurting. But we’re well aware that if we walk a certain way, it might tweak the previous injury. Or even worse, tear the same wound wide open.

The lasting effects are simply inevitable.  You’ve learned to get along pain free because you walk with a limp to remain comfortable — and after so long, you make a habit of it. It’s second nature to get by the way you get by, until someone comes along and makes you consider trying that old method. The technique that broke you in the first place.

It can be hard, especially if the person trying to sweep you off your feet is doing everything so freakin’ perfect. It’d almost be better if they’d just mess up or show some awful red flag so we can get out of being vulnerable early on. Happiness with a person is too good to be true — it’s unfathomable that a person is genuinely concerned over you and has no ulterior motives that’ll cut you down eventually. That’s when we realize the extend of the previous damage, and just how broken we are. At times, a previously shattered heart has absolutely no idea how to respond to genuine care and affection, which is truly unfortunate. The person or people from the past who’ve hurt you still linger, even long after they’re gone.

One time is all it takes. Once you’ve been damaged, you don’t fully recover, so much as you teach yourself to cope. The wounds are there, the lessons are learned, the memories are engraved, and you’ve got to decide if you want to do it all over again – or if you’re even capable of that. A damaged heart is tentative and that’s got to be clear to anyone seeking to win you over. On your own time, as you’re ready, you’ll have to drop the crutches, dip your toes in to test the waters, and, when the time is right, love hard as you loved before.

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Cheating Is A No No!!

Here is my take on cheating: it’s horrible. It’s terrible. I think kissing and more is cheating.

I have said it over and over again that cheating is a HUGE deal breaker for me. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Will I forgive a guy who has cheated? To be honest, I don’t know. I would like to think “No!” or “I’m too smart to date a guy who’s like that” but I am only human and I don’t make all my decisions rationally. (Yes, I kinda lack a back bone in this point… making decisions.) It doesn’t help that when it comes to love, the lines get blur.

Well then, what do I think about flirting? Is it okay? I’d like to think not, but in all fairness, I think to say that you will never ever flirt for the rest of your life just because you have a partner is not likely. I’m not talking about excessive flirting – I’m talking about… I don’t know, dishing out compliments or throwing in a wink or two. Harmless flirting that will lead to nowhere. It’s not going to escalate into something more if you are dating the right kind of guy. So am I or will I be okay with The Boyfriend flirting with other women? Yes, I will be. Cos I just trust him that it doesn’t snowball into something more. Call it reverse psychology if you will, but it always works for me.

How about if you’re tempted to cheat? You know, you’ve always thought that a celebrity is an idiot for cheating on his/her boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/other half? But what if you are faced with temptation? What would you do? Would you walk away? How much willpower will you have? Or are you on the other side of the equation? Will you tempt someone to cheat? What if you really like him and you see him every day and can’t erase your feelings? Does it really mean that your feelings are any cheaper just because he has a girlfriend? Can you do what’s responsible? After all, even after thousands of years of revolution, we are all primal beings at our very core, are we not?

The world is not in black and white, but in infinite shades of grey.

And for what it’s worth, I’ve never cheated because I’m all too familiar with the pain that it brings

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