Falling in love is one of the best feelings you could ever have in life. People write books about it, songs too. But you’ve got to know just what it is that you’re falling into. Which brings us to one question- What is love?
First of all it’s one of the hardest questions to answer. Ask 10 different people and you’ll most likely get 10 different answers.
In the dictionary, Love is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection. But what exactly does that mean?
Love is a wonderful, beautiful, incredible feeling. However at the same time it’s maddening and detrimental. So what’s the real love?
Love is the foundation of all human emotion. Every emotion you could possibly have is linked to love in some way. Have a hater? Most likely they hate because there’s something about you that they’d love to have. Afraid of something? I’m sure you’d love to stay away from it. Mad because you would love things to be different. Sad because you loved the way things used to be. Every single emotion is tied in with love.
Love starts off with two things- Connection and Chemistry. The heart is always looking for love whether you are or not. With that said, when you meet someone and you have instant chemistry the heartstrings get pulled and the seeds of love get planted. Depending on the situation, these seeds can grow into a weed or a rainforest so its paramount that you’re mindful of your feelings and are very open with yourself about what you’re feeling.
One thing that’s almost impossible to do is to suppress love and deny the heart of its’ desire. As the foundation of all emotions, love is a dominant matter of the heart and as such is stubborn. Denying your heart its desire will only make it grow and grow until you can’t deny it anymore. So be honest with yourself about the way you’re feeling and don’t be afraid to love when given the opportunity. But second and maybe even more importantly, make sure that you’re open to the other person. Love is a tricky thing but the one thing that sucks is when you’re falling in love alone. So once again, communication is key.
One thing to remember is to be fearless as it comes to love. Never be afraid of letting out just how you feel with someone that you have a connection with. Ideally you want the love to grow at the same rate so if the feeling begins to hit you just be honest about it and upfront. You never know, you may not be alone in how you feel.
Loving someone is your heart’s choice. Falling for them is yours.
It’s effortless to feel love for people because for the most part we as people are predisposed to caring for others. Acting on those feelings however is a totally different beast.
Falling in love is as much about love as it is your fearlessness and willingness to act on it. You have the person that you care for, the chemistry and the connection is there and you’re ready to act. You’re ready to say it… At least you think so.
But how would you know for sure?
The true test of a relationship is not what you absolutely love and adore about a person, but what you don’t like and how you can handle or tolerate it.
A good example is if you’re dating someone and everything is perfect up until they get upset about something. They tend to get very violent and confrontational and takes it out on you. You may love that person’s smile, the way they treat you when they’re happy, even down to the sex- but if they get angry and make your life hell, how long can you tolerate that?
So what’s needed is to find out what you don’t like about that person and think about how you can handle it. You can’t just love a person for the good and hate them for the bad. To truly be in love you have to either love or tolerate everything about a person. That’s the true test of if it’s going to work or not.
You can start off early by asking someone about what they’re self-conscious about. Chances are they’ll tone it down, but just having an idea of what they don’t like about themselves will give you a window into something you may not like. If they tell you something that they don’t like about themself that you also can’t stand, chances are that you’re just biding time. The key to true love is to love freely. Flaws and all. So if you have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend who is also ashamed of the things you’re self-conscious about- you just may be wasting time.
But let’s just say that you’ve found for the most part things that you don’t like and you’ve spent time around each other and you can tolerate it. Then by all means, take the leap and fall right into love. Ignoring things you don’t like and expecting them to change will ultimately destroy the relationship. It can be like a chip in the windshield that turns into a crack. Get the chip fixed. Communicate.
So how do you know you’re in love? You take the leap. You can love anybody, but truly acting on it and giving in to it, as well as admitting it is when you know. Like momma often says “When you know, you know.” Some things are just that simple.