Tag Archives: Emotions

Damaged Heart

You may be capable of forgiving, but the forgetting part is out of your hands. Forgiveness is nothing to scoff at though, it takes a hell of a person with a mighty generous heart to experience some type of traumatizing betrayal and accept an apology. And people can be ruthless, so it’s not a given that you’ll even receive an apology at all. It forces us to deal with the wrongdoings internally before we can move on with life. Still — as difficult as forgiving may be, it’s ultimately up to you. The forgetting however, is not.

People seem less and less thoughtful about their actions. A moment of pleasure is constantly being chosen over potential years of reliability and happiness. Then, when the flash of indulgence is over, consideration for what has been done begins. People may start to feel bad; others may just feel scared that the truth will come out. For some it will take being caught to find out, for others, their conscious forces them to confess, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

So whatever happened is now carved into your brain. It has left an unpleasantly deep wound that hurts regardless or apologies, excuses or explanations. You’re officially damaged and what people fail to realize is that it’s permanent. Playing with emotions, cheating, screwing people over, breaking trust – these things are taken lightly nowadays, and I can’t fathomwhy. When you do any of those things to a person, you are leaving them emotionally disabled for some time. We rehabilitate and when we do eventually “get over” things, all that means is that we’ve figured out a way to walk without each step hurting. But we’re well aware that if we walk a certain way, it might tweak the previous injury. Or even worse, tear the same wound wide open.

The lasting effects are simply inevitable.  You’ve learned to get along pain free because you walk with a limp to remain comfortable — and after so long, you make a habit of it. It’s second nature to get by the way you get by, until someone comes along and makes you consider trying that old method. The technique that broke you in the first place.

It can be hard, especially if the person trying to sweep you off your feet is doing everything so freakin’ perfect. It’d almost be better if they’d just mess up or show some awful red flag so we can get out of being vulnerable early on. Happiness with a person is too good to be true — it’s unfathomable that a person is genuinely concerned over you and has no ulterior motives that’ll cut you down eventually. That’s when we realize the extend of the previous damage, and just how broken we are. At times, a previously shattered heart has absolutely no idea how to respond to genuine care and affection, which is truly unfortunate. The person or people from the past who’ve hurt you still linger, even long after they’re gone.

One time is all it takes. Once you’ve been damaged, you don’t fully recover, so much as you teach yourself to cope. The wounds are there, the lessons are learned, the memories are engraved, and you’ve got to decide if you want to do it all over again – or if you’re even capable of that. A damaged heart is tentative and that’s got to be clear to anyone seeking to win you over. On your own time, as you’re ready, you’ll have to drop the crutches, dip your toes in to test the waters, and, when the time is right, love hard as you loved before.

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Trailer: Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream

[TRAILER] Beyonce 'Life Is But A Dream' 1

In this trailer Bey talks about her living real life emotions while living on the ‘celebrity pedestal’. She also reveals her sonogram and talks about trying to wear tight clothes over her growing baby bump and try to hide it.

Untitled[TRAILER] Beyonce 'Life Is But A Dream' 2

Life Is But A Dream will air on HBO.

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Soulmates….

How can someone have total control over your heart…

I mean how can someone make you feel dead when they’re not near you…

But so alive when they hold you…

How can someone can total control over your thoughts…

I mean how can someone be the first thing on your mind…

When you wake up and the last thing before you close your eyes…

How can someone have total control over your body…

I mean how can someone touch you so gently…

And pure as if they know you too well…

How can they own your mind, body and soul…

I mean how is it possible to miss them even when they’re right next to you…

And feel as if in every kiss you fall more in love…

Like you can take over the world…

And when you’re together time doesn’t exist…

And when you lay together…

It’s not just laying down…

It’s appreciating every second of that moment because that person…

Is YOUR soulmate…

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Strange World

I live in such a strange world… I mean there is still so many things I failed to understand about life… Or rather comprehend and I’m hoping as I get older… Much older I’ll learn…. To accept these things… Growing up all I did was day dream… I dreamed big… There was something so soothing about being able to escape reality and… Dream… I remember I would sit under my grandpa’s pear tree and close my eyes and dream… I dreamed about saving the world… By changing it… Didn’t understand why at such a young age I thought the world needed to be saved… But as I grew older… As I learned to ride a bike fearless… I understood scars… As I experienced my first heartbreak… I understood loneliness… As I experienced a loss… I understood emotions… As I experienced betrayal… I understood commitment… As I experienced sickness. I understood faith… As I experienced struggle… I understood success… Its crazy come to think about it… I was so eager to change the world… As I’m experiencing life… I understood the world changed me… I live in such a strange world…

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Sing

 

Do you ever get so full of emotion you don’t know what to do,need to find a release of all your built up angst, frustration, passion or energy. I have a solution! It may not work for all who try it but, for me it is perfect. What is this mystery thing I speak of.. well as I like you I will let you in on the secret :) IT’S SINGING and not just humming to yourself as you do the washing up or “lalala”ing during a shower. No, I mean full-on belting a song out until you have no emotion left. I am quite an emotional person and my emotions tend to get hold of me and I struggle to let them out. But I like to write my feelings down and that normally helps but sometimes there is just to much to write, feelings that can’t be explained through the traditional pen and paper… This is where singing comes into the equation. There are so many types of music, each about all kinds of situations… your bound to find one that reflects your exact feelings. Once you find that song, you are sorted all you have to do now is sing it loud and proud and try not to give a sh!t about other people!

I walk to work everyday and everyday I sing my heart out until there is nothing left in me… am I bad at singing? Don’t know and Don’t care. Yes, I sometimes get a bit too much into a song and find myself choking through the lyrics struggling to hold back the tears but if I’m honest I am glad I can attach myself and am in touch with myself enough to show my emotions. Plus I find that I will always find those songs that give me hope or cheer me up… so if I leave my house feeling sad usually by the time I get to work I have sung my way out of feeling upset.

 

Music is awesome

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I Long For….

The conversations I long for are the ones that make me feel like I’m free-writing deep, heart-felt words on paper. The ones with words in their purest form and thoughts at their greatest capacity. Our entire lives consist of the exact opposite of these kinds of conversations, unless we meet the people capable of carrying one.

Let’s think outside the box, or in this case, typical societal views for a minute. Let’s not view the world as everyone else does for just one moment and cherish the fact that we are both human beings, me and you, living on a planet full of other human beings and just simply living.

By living, I don’t mean working at your job, making your monthly car payments or saving up for your next house. I mean just living. I mean, cause I’m sure that there’s more to life than the way the majority of us are currently living it. Don’t you think we were destined for something more, or to be something more than constantly working to earn money? Do you think it’s possible that the only reason we are living this way is because it’s what we are taught while growing up, and it is all that we see everyone else doing: Working hard at school. Working hard at our jobs. Working hard at our dreams. Working hard ‘til we’re dead.

..or is this all a little to weird to talk about?

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