Tag Archives: Facebook

Why Is He With Her?

Many people are guilty of looking at a relationship and if one of the people are not what we deem as attractive, rhetorically asking, “Ugh! Why is he even with her?” I am sure some men do this too but for the most part, you hear women say it, as if being “pretty” is the only reason someone could possibly BE with someone else. I have said it before but I know better than to REALLY believe this is the only reason a man could possibly love and marry a woman. Sometimes the most successful relationships are with people who aren’t beauty queens or stunning charmers. People who don’t spend ALL of their free time on “looking good” have time to work on other endearing, everlasting qualities like AND…their personalities.

When I have said it, I can honestly say I was joking because I know better. However, I am beginning to think that some women are dead ass serious when making this statement. It makes me a little concerned. I see all of these blogs, tweets, articles, etc. written about women having problems finding men. Could it be because your focus is on the wrong thing? If you are over 25 and looking to get into a serious relationship, whether you are male or female, your main concern should be how someone is going to treat you. I think it should be a big concern if you are under 25 but most people in that age bracket aren’t trying to settle down with one person so your relationship priorities tend to be different.

Seriously, if your biggest concern is “why is he with her? she’s fat/ugly/can’t dress/etc”, you might not need to be in a relationship at all. Could it be that he actually loves her? Isn’t that what’s most important? I hear and see so many people CLAIM they want a man/woman but what they are projecting doesn’t say that. It says “I want someone to show off to my family and friends”. As you mature, you find out that having a “trophy” for a relationship isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. That’s some high school shit.
If you’re an outsider looking in, there is a plethora of things you’ll never be privy to that makes those two people think the world of each other. I wish people would get that.

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You’re A Cunt!!

So the reasoning for this update, is to get the idea out there that, a lot of people have attitude problems. Now I’m not talking about people who tend to have a bad day and then feel as though they can’t help themselves if someone is annoying them. No, nothing like that–because we are all entitled to having our bad days!

What I’m talking about is the people who tend to go about their day having bad things to say about anything and everything. You’re not a comedian, who are you trying to impress? Sometimes when using social networking sites like Twitter, I occasionally get the typical “people” and I put that in inverted commas because, to be quite blunt they seem to be assholes for no reason, to write hate tweets toward me.

I’m not a celebrity, nor do I even claim to be one, however what I find absolutely disgusting is the attitude problems people have because they don’t understand some my humor or furthermore something that I’m saying on twitter because–it’s my twitter and I can do whatever the hell I want with it–and for some reason someone has RT’d it, which for those of you who aren’t involved with twitter means it gets quoted and posted on that person’s timeline with reference to the writer. Now, some people find that even if something has been RT’d that it’s okay to say rude things to the person who wrote it. Mind you, all I wrote for today’s hate-tweet was, “I need to wear sunglasses in my house #hungover” and I got attitude back. I was not expecting to get Rt’d there in turn was not expecting attitude from anyone.

This person of course had no shame and went ahead and said something. Now, I’m a firm believer in people getting what they deserve, but because I’ve tried to keep my twitter a less offensive as possible I can’t call these people what I’d like to. At the end of the day, anyone on social networking sites that are reading this. If you have ever had any hate mail from anyone. Just say one thing back to them: “Would you like fries with that?”


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Before You Lose It

Why do people on most social networking sites, like Tumblr (especially girls), never accept the compliments they get? Is this some kind of new trend, because I’m not really following…it’s actually one of the main reasons why I kind of stopped using Tumblr as much and moved to WordPress. Whether it is on their appearances or personality, they never seem to be satisfied by themselves! I really hate it when a some individual has their followers comment on how beautiful they are, then they go like “Ugh no I’m not” instead of a good old-fashioned “Thank you”. Then why post your photos in the first place if you think you really are ugly? Attention-seeking, much? And secondly they are the ones that think you are beautiful, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, there’s really no point in trying to convince them otherwise, unless you want them to feel that you have zero confidence and a lack of self-esteem!

People nowadays never seem to love what they got or are even not satisfied by what they have earned. You get to actually know what something’s worth when you actually lose it. I know it is in a human’s selfish nature to take anything for granted, but sometimes, it crosses the line. And now, apparently mostly the teenagers of today are fully unsatisfied with anything. Some people are so poor they can’t even feed themselves or afford a surgery they have to go through. Some people have lost an arm or a leg. Some people can’t see or hear. And you’re sitting on your sorry butt all day saying, “Fuck my life, mommy won’t buy me an iPad”. Seriously? What on earth has happened to showing the least bit of gratitude and content? And not only that, some greedy failures also tend to blame their losses on someone else. Like holding a grudge against a parent for not buying them the new Xbox or whatever. That, and also blaming it on…having bipolar disorder (which is, apparently, the newest trend these days).

Give us all a break and stop being so pathetic…I don’t see what is so “cool” about suffering from a mental or psychological disorder. As for myself, I have been clinically diagnosed with severe borderline PD years ago (amongst other things) and I had wished every second of my entire life, that I was dead. Borderline/bipolar/depression does not come every once in a while when you haven’t got what you wanted. It’s not like “Oh, I have depression, like my daddy won’t get me this car I’ve always wanted because he wants me to finish school first”. And then you go and tell everyone you know that you are going through the darkest days. You may call yourself sick, believe me I have all those packed together, I was the weakest person ever, even still am at some point, and I learned that I should accept myself for who I am, not because I want to be like someone else! Sure, I get suicidal a LOT and hate everything for no reasons but I get over it eventually (thanks to my medications that saved my life – literally), and I am far from an attention-seeker…and I am better now because I am filled with positive energy. And if you are perfectly fine without any mental illness…all I have to say is: Be thankful for what you have got! You may take the most trivial issues as granted, such as, let’s say, downloading movies for free. Now that the whole thing might be banned any time soon, people are now finally aware that they might lose the opportunity they once had.

My message to you is, to do a long list of things you are grateful for. Everything you have. From your body and your mind to your talents and house, food and shelter. Some people can’t find any of those. Love everything you have, love yourself, be thankful you’re online and reading this, some people don’t even have an Internet connection.

Remember that you are only truly ugly when you don’t love yourself, and if you don’t show any gratitude. Beauty is to show appreciation for everything you have. Have some positive energy. Have fun in your life, you only live it once, but do it safely, creatively, and constructively.

Now, go on and do that list, and feel free to share it as a comment (:

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Don’t Be Weak

What is it with people who rant about how unhappy they are about their relationships, their jobs or whatever situation they are in right now? I sometimes dread seeing the names of particular people in my Facebook news feed because I know it will be another rant about their sucky job, or another so-called emo “quote” that the whole world knows is directed to her boyfriend. You must wonder why I don’t block these people’s posts from appearing in my news feed. Well honestly, their depression and their unique chosen outlet – yeah Facebook – fascinate me, make me think and make me write.

If only I could tell these people that there are some things they are doing wrong – which I can’t because who wants to be given advice they did not ask for? No one. Well, here’s a blog then for all you unhappy, unsatisfied, discontented people out there who consistently brag about your unhappiness when you are apparently settling. I hope this could help you in some way.

No.1 Do Not Settle. Repeat. Do Not Settle.

Happiness should be your main personal goal. If you’re not happy, stop complaining and do something about it. The problem with unhappy people is they tend to settle with whatever they have at the moment and try to see the good in it..even how little it is. They are scared of being alone or of taking risks to try and turnaround their situations and would rather settle.

If you are not 100% happy about a relationship you’re in, if you feel like you’re being taken for granted, if your partner is cheating on you or is too jealous, too controlling, too short-fused then WALK AWAY. Relationships should be enriching both ways and if it’s not bringing out the best in you or making you a better person then it only means it’s not the right one for you. Know that. Accept that. Really, at your age, you should be taking control of your life. Do not be scared of ditching your partner and being alone for a while. Being alone and stress-free is better than being with someone and being half of the person you are meant to be.

Likewise, if you are not happy with your job, go look for a better one. Believe me, there is ALWAYS something better out there. Don’t forget that your job takes up a chunk of your time, with you devoting to it at least 8 hours a day, at least 5 days a week. If you are unhappy with your job then you are unhappy at least 8 hours a day, at least 5 days a week too. How stressful can that be? I’m already stressed just thinking about it. Wouldn’t it be priceless to just be happy, stress-free and fulfilled 24 hours a day? It is feasible, take it from me. I had the most unhappy job before, having the worst relationship with a former boss in a very stressful work environment and I was settling until (thank God I hit my head) I told myself I am no longer going to take such crap. It triggered me to look for an ideal job, not even settling for the mediocre offers that came along the way. I was tired of having an OK job. I swore the next one was going to be the best one. And tadaaa! Now it is. I wake up everyday excited to work. I love what I do and get the utmost fulfillment out of it. The key is for you to be proactive and be driven. Don’t be scared of taking calculated risks. You are in control of your career and your life.

Do not settle because it is your right to be happy and it is what the One up there wills for you.

No.2 Stop Telling the World You’re Unhappy. Just Stop.

You know, The Secret is quite popular right now and for all of you who aren’t familiar with it, read the book or watch the video. Your thoughts are powerful and they play a vital role in how your future will unravel. The reason why unhappy people remain unhappy is because they always think about how unhappy they are. Likewise, people who are happy stay that way because they think happy thoughts. You see, the Universe will give you everything and anything you want but it will always base what you want on your thoughts. You should be quite careful also with how you structure your thoughts and make sure it remains positive. The Universe will only hear your base thought and it cannot distinguish whether it’s positive or negative. For example, if what’s always on your mind is “I don’t want my sucky job” – the Universe will only hear sucky job and that’s what you’ll keep on getting. Convert your thought into a positive one like “I want the perfect job” and that’s what you’re going to get.

So for all those who keep on ranting on Facebook or wherever that you hate your job, your boyfriend takes you for granted, traffic is so bad that you’re late again or you hate terrorism or hate all the haters…my gosh, look at all the negativity you’re creating for yourself and for  the world.

When you hear people telling you to stay positive, think happy thoughts, it’s all in the mind – do not take those for granted. Your life is what you think of it to be. Tell yourself and the whole world the positive things that you want to happen to you. That will be a good start.

I know, I know…it’s all easier said than done but hey I’ve been unhappy too. I’ve been unhappy in relationships, career, finances…name it, I’ve been unhappy about it but I did something about it and so can you.

High five!

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Don’t Rush

I don’t know if it’s my generation or if this happens in every generation, but it seems like my peers are in a rush to find love. It’s like one minute, relationships are like jail and everyone runs away from them and then the next minute, everyone wants one.im so confused.

That leads me to my question: are teen relationships a trend?

I refresh y Facebook news feed about a hundred 5 times every 2 hours, and about 85% ( ignore my statistics.they’re random and meant to exaggerate my point) of my news feed is either about love,tips on a relationship,a desperate person wanting a relationship or a completely staged cuffing pic. Trust me,it’s a sight to see (not really).

For some reason, everyone feels like they’re an expert on love. Of course, some have more experience with relationships than others, and therefore, they can offer a few words of wisdom. This however, does not mean you know everything. I barely listen to those older than me and you think I’ll take your advice on love? I’ll pass. The only people I’ll take relationship advice from,is an old married HAPPY couple.

Then there’s those who constantly say “I want a relationship” or “I need a girl to hold me down” or the most famous “I think it’s time to settle down”. You think it’s time to settle down? You haven’t even graduated from high school yet!I honestly don’t see the rush in settling down. Grown men aren’t even capable of settling down,what makes you think you can? To me, you’re better off enjoying the last year you have as a minor and simply have fun.you have your whole life to settle down.theres many people in this world and many things to see. Relationships are fine,but don’t count on finding “the one” so early in life.

So here’s why I think it’s a trend. The more popular tumblr got, the cuffing pics we see. The more cuffing pics we see, the more it makes people want relationships. This leads me to believe people don’t want relationships for the beauty of having someone, they want it simply for that cuffing pic. Nothing screams desperation the way this does. A relationship should be more than a picture. If this is what it’s been degraded to,I’m in no rush for one.

maybe it’s me, or the friends that I have. Maybe it’s me AND the friends I have, but relationships arent appealing to us. Don’t get me wrong, if we meet that person that does it for us( I mean really does it for us) then Of course we’ll be with them. But right now, ehh. Not priority. I think it mostly has to do with the fact that we were with guys for long periods of time and break ups were hard.we had three different situations,all equally frustrating and draining. Add school and teen life, and you have a big old bowl of stress. Since we can’t get rid of school and teen life is inevitable,relationships can wait.most people my age only look at the glitz and glam of it.trust me, when it’s time to move on,someone is going to have a harder time than the other.

I just don’t see why people are in a rush for it. Live your life.if it happens,it happens. But don’t force it.

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Relationship Killers?

For the last few years sites like Facebook and Twitter have become the main way of managing our complex array of true friends, colleagues, acquaintances, friends of friends, people we stalk and people we used to know but have lost contact with but stay Facebook friends to feel like we have more friends type people. With such reliance on these social networking tools to manage the people in our lives, it is no wonder that real life, meaningful relationships spill over into the virtual world. In this instance I’m not talking about the difficulty of separating true friends from Facebook friends but instead how the use of social media can make relationships between couples that bit more difficult.

Facebook is plagued with the ‘relationship status’ function. If we are to believe the film The Social Network then this function was created so college boys could see if the girl they fancied was in fact available. This use prevails quite prominently, even more so recently with the practice of ‘Facebook stalking’ becoming seemingly more socially acceptable, but is not just limited to people checking others out. The relationship status is there for all to see, everyone knows when someone is in a relationship, often sending them some form of congratulations despite not knowing them or their new partner. Often (positive) relationship changes are the most liked things I see on Facebook, even when most people don’t actually care… Conversely, however, everyone also knows when someone’s relationship status changes for the worse. All of this watching adds pressure to the relationship that is under scrutiny by people one half of the couple will definitely not even know.

Of course, couples could avoid putting this option in their profiles, but then people might assume that they aren’t serious, or are single and ripe for hitting on. If their real friends know they are together, they might question why they are not letting other people know. In fact, the relationship status, particularly for younger couples who have no real way of showing serious commitment, can act as a sign of the relationship’s integrity. Thus, now, the term Facebook official has become more and more widespread, a term used to define a relationship that wouldn’t have existed five years ago.

I am not going to dive into all the pitfalls of conducting the actual relationship over Facebook. This should stay fairly obvious- keep it private. Far too many couples overdo it on Facebook, you should actually see each other rather than posting things all the time for all the world to see.

Facebook is also there, as it always is, at the end of a relationship too. Once again, the relationship status strikes again as everyone knows you are single once more. This may encourage messages of sympathy or people you didn’t even really know acting differently around you. What was once a private matter between two people becomes very public very quickly. Sure, it is up to you when you change the status so that you can deal with the inevitable flood of people commenting, but it will still be news to the people who aren’t really close to you, and people you wouldn’t have told anyway. Once again, the watchful eye of your Facebook friends makes the whole process of breaking up that bit more difficult.

Also, breakups are made more difficult by social media’s focus on constantly updating. Whilst when in a couple this can be brilliant, with comments, chat and statuses allowing the couple to stay in constant contact, it can be particularly difficult to avoid this afterwards. No one wants to be the person who unfriended their ex first, so you just live, dealing with updates you don’t really want to see. Social networks also make this particularly difficult as no one (besides whiny attention seeking teenage girls) post how they really feel, they just post what they want others to see, the perfect them. Constantly seeing this perfect version of someone you broke up with is not particularly healthy or actually a true indication of anything, but yet social networks mess with you in this way.

So, in conclusion, social media has fundamentally altered the conduct of relationships between couples of the 21st century. It harries the relationship at every turn, right from the initial footsteps together, to how you communicate in a public forum, and to how you perceive each other after a breakup. Perhaps it’s just not worth it. It’s easy to say that we shouldn’t cave to peer pressure and feel obliged to carry out this new online relationship etiquette, but realistically who doesn’t? Somehow it has become tradition in a short couple of years, and will stay this way until Facebook loses its dominance.

What are your opinions? Has social media alerted your relationships? For better or worse?

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All get your questions for Madonna as she is doing a questions and answers ;section ;over Twitter.

To celebrate ; ;her new album ;MDNA ;Madonna is doing a ;questions and answers night on Twitter you can tweet her from ;10 PM EST Monday 26th March.

She will only be ; ;answering questions for one-day only via Twitter.

If you want to ask her a question then all you need to do it to tweet your question to ;@MadonnaMDNAday ;and don’t forget to include the #askmadonna hashtag.

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