Tag Archives: Future

My Bed

As a child, all you can really do is dream. You dream of touching the stars, digging to China, and finding the cure to cancer. As a young child, you’re allowed to do a lot more than you are when you grow up. You can play in the rain naked without being arrested for Public Nudity. You can doodle in class and get an A+ instead of an F. If you show up late because you slept too late, it’s ok, the playdate will just go a little later than usual. But now we’re grown up. I can’t show up late to my appointments, doodle on my paperwork, and for the sake of those around me-I promise to keep my clothes on in public. Things stop being cute and innocent, and they become serious. The only things we have to hold on to from our childhood are our dreams.

Dreams begin when you close your eyes, and let your mind wander. Your bed welcomes you into a comforting state of sleep where you lay peacefully. Your dreams grow wilder and wilder as the days go on. They transform from rainbows and unicorns to events you wish could happen, or to that perfect someone you just can’t get off your mind. Your dreams even begin to turn on you and stress you out-because even your dreams grow up. You wake up in the morning and ponder about the crazy happenings of your mind. You start the day right where you ended it-in your bed.

Your bed is the treasure chest of your deepest secrets. It is the safe haven that will welcome you home every night, and wait patiently for you to return later that evening. It holds every wish you’ve made on a star, every tear you’ve shed before falling asleep, and every dream that you’ve dared to dream.

So, why would I ever let you intrude on this? Why should I welcome you into the most vulnerable place of my home, of my heart? This bed wasn’t meant for you to sleep in, these sheets haven’t blanketed your body before. In fact, my mind hasn’t welcomed you into the deepest pits of its thoughts. My heart has not given you the key to my treasure chest where my childhood runs ramped with unicorns and rainbows, all of which is stored safely in the comforts of my bed.

Maybe I’m old-fashioned when it comes to my strong belief in waiting till marriage, but look at my small, twin-sized bed. For now, I am too young to share this bed with you. It was designed to protect me, and only me. When I’m older and I have met someone who understands this, he will wrap me in white and gold. My father will pass me off into his hands, and he will carry me over the threshold of my new home. He will lay me down into a new bed, one meant to cherish the responsibility of two hearts’ dreams. And in this bed, new dreams will form and new treasures will be stored. This bed will be grown up, more mature than my twin-sized bed. It will be able to welcome both of us home, and it will be able to warm both of us effortlessly on even the coldest of nights. This bed will protect both of us, while my twin-sized bed will move on to another little girl whose dreams still chase after the stars, dig to China, and find the cure to cancer.

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Step It UP!!!

You don’t need resources. You need resourcefulness.
It’s incredibly interesting to me how people are so quick to find a reason why something hasn’t been done, put the entire blame on it and give up. Are we content with unfinished aspirations just because there is an obstacle in our way that won’t allow it? Are we satisfied with disappointment? Or are we just so hopeless that it’s what we expect as a result? I think that disappointment is exactly what we attract when we don’t follow through with our goals. We tend to feel like we should leave it alone because we feel it is our final fate. But I couldn’t disagree more with such a ridiculous lazy theory. I always feel like us humans really take for granted the power we have of achieving great things. We are so fortunate to be able to think for ourselves and truly we are even more fortunate to live in a world where most of us can be whatever we decide to be. However, we forget that there isn’t always an easy way to get to our destination without a little blood, sweat and tears. I always felt like never taking no for an answer is a guaranteed elevator to the top. Why are we so quick to look at another successful person and say “Oh well they got lucky”… No they didn’t, they just never took no for an answer. They we’re never content with disappointment.
I’m still just a kid growing up, but I always learn every single day with the way I go about living. The illusion of time is so damn precious and they actually weren’t crazy when they said that it’s all you have. I actually enjoy time, because it cannot be controlled nor manipulated by HUMAN BEINGS. It belongs to nobody, and whether it is on your side or not, you can only tell by the way you live your life.
The point of where I am getting to is simply to remind you that an excuse will get you nowhere. In fact, it will continue to keep you at the end of the line while time is at the front of that line going in. Nothing should ever stand in your way of doing something that you truly want. The answers aren’t in the help of other people. You can do anything on your own if you really want to, I know this first hand because I am experiencing it and I’ve been inspired by those who have done it before me.
This is my mission for life… that glass in my brain is never half empty. No human being, lack of funds or anything for that matter should get in the way of you living up to your ambitions. The main message behind my SOLA is quite simple… INDEPENDENCE. You’re brought into this planet alone, and you are leaving it alone, every battle you fight, you will fight alone and every experience you go through, you will truly experience alone. Your life is YOUR life. Yes you may share it with others, but you are still alone as your ownbeing. Always push yourself, make everything you always wished for an achievement. These aspirations are in your mind for a reason, because you want to live them. You got a vision? Become the spitting image of it. And by all means, stop getting distracted by whatever it is that is in your way. Us humans survive by being fed food, not bullshit. Quit being okay with disappointment & never ever let that be your end result. Here is what we have to offer, and for years to come… they’ll never forget it. You don’t need resources, all you need is resourcefulness!!!!!!!! Get to it.
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Love Spent!

Same old story…You say you want me but you don’t act like you really do…Not that I care anyway…Because I don’t want you…I don’t know why I keep you in my life at all…Because you annoy me and your demands are beyond imagination…Not that I’d ever want to fill them anyway…You are past and it’s time to let go of the past and live in the future…It may hurt, but it’s not meant to be…You never treasured me the way you said you would nor did I treasure you, because my heart wasn’t free…It’s not free now either, but you don’t understand…We are not meant to be, because I don’t love you, I never did and I never will…Because it wasn’t our destiny …I want to leave…I want to get away…I was away but it felt strange…I was still lost…I felt lost…It was better than here…But I was still lost…I just needed to get away…But I had some time to think…And clear my head…And my desire to find my place and my home and fulfill my dreams is stronger than ever…I came back…But this is not home either…I came back and there’s this heaviness on my heart…I don’t feel that this is home any more…I feel estranged…I feel that I’m so far away…I’m sad and feel like there’s a big hole in my heart, an empty space that must be filled…I’m trying so hard to find my place…I try to keep myself busy so I wouldn’t have to think about this emptiness…There’s a list…A list of things to do before I can go and look for my place and find my home…Time passes by really fast when I keep myself busy…I try not to think about the unpleasant things and situations but just to deal with them…I feel so lonely and lost but I can’t tell anyone, because no one understands…Everyone wants a piece of me for their own selfish reasons but no one cares to understand how I might feel…No one listens…And now I’ve stopped caring…This is my life, my future and my feelings…It’s only me…So why should anyone want to understand…So I will no longer try to explain what I do and why, now I just do it…It just annoys me that after I do it everybody are shocked and never expected anything like this from me…But hey, at least you can’t say I didn’t warn you…If you had paid attention to what I had to say you would’ve been prepared…So when I say I want to leave and eventually I will, don’t act surprised like you had no idea…This is my wish, my life, my dream…One day I will make it happen…I don’t know when but I hope soon…Because I get more and more anxious every day…I want to be with you more and more…I wish I could tell you how much…And I wish that you’d wait for me…I won…I’ve never won anything in my life, but now I did…I couldn’t believe it…But it was because of you…You were my lucky “number”…Ever since I fell in love with you great things have happened to me…Anything connected to you brings me good luck and wonderful things…You are my luck, you are my jackpot…If I win your heart and love, I’ll have it all…I couldn’t possibly ask for more…And I know I’m your luck too, if I’d tell you how you would know why…Life can be as bad as it can get but with you in my life there’s still hope…You are my hope, you are my light, you are my everything…

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