Tag Archives: Growing

Why Is He With Her?

Many people are guilty of looking at a relationship and if one of the people are not what we deem as attractive, rhetorically asking, “Ugh! Why is he even with her?” I am sure some men do this too but for the most part, you hear women say it, as if being “pretty” is the only reason someone could possibly BE with someone else. I have said it before but I know better than to REALLY believe this is the only reason a man could possibly love and marry a woman. Sometimes the most successful relationships are with people who aren’t beauty queens or stunning charmers. People who don’t spend ALL of their free time on “looking good” have time to work on other endearing, everlasting qualities like AND…their personalities.

When I have said it, I can honestly say I was joking because I know better. However, I am beginning to think that some women are dead ass serious when making this statement. It makes me a little concerned. I see all of these blogs, tweets, articles, etc. written about women having problems finding men. Could it be because your focus is on the wrong thing? If you are over 25 and looking to get into a serious relationship, whether you are male or female, your main concern should be how someone is going to treat you. I think it should be a big concern if you are under 25 but most people in that age bracket aren’t trying to settle down with one person so your relationship priorities tend to be different.

Seriously, if your biggest concern is “why is he with her? she’s fat/ugly/can’t dress/etc”, you might not need to be in a relationship at all. Could it be that he actually loves her? Isn’t that what’s most important? I hear and see so many people CLAIM they want a man/woman but what they are projecting doesn’t say that. It says “I want someone to show off to my family and friends”. As you mature, you find out that having a “trophy” for a relationship isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. That’s some high school shit.
If you’re an outsider looking in, there is a plethora of things you’ll never be privy to that makes those two people think the world of each other. I wish people would get that.

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After awhile you have to question yourself… Can it be you? I mean we’re constantly having problems and struggling… Trying keep it up… Is kind of understandable… More like needed to ask if these things only happen to us… I mean is not so much feeling alone or bottled in with your feelings while being in a world with millions of people… But just looking for comfort and reassurance that things will eventually get better… We never know what’s going to happen the very minute out body hits the ground… But we’re always hoping is good… We’re always hoping it’ll lea us somewhere new… Somewhere permanent… I think that’s kind of brave and courageous… After awhile you have to question yourself… Can it be you? Changing right before your eyes… Actually growing up…

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No one likes to experience pain & difficulty. But as we mature we understand in order to make any progress in life we must face some challenges. Let’s face it, the things we appreciate most in life are the things we worked hardest to get.

While trials are uncomfortable they are designed to teach us things that are valuable in life, like patience. Patience is something that applies to not only our spiritual life but everyday life as well. Patience teaches us the value of waiting (without complaining) not looking at how long we’ve been going thru, but rejoicing in the fact we will get thru . Many of us lack patience when it comes to certain things (I’m raising both my hands) because we live in a microwave society we want everything now without working or waiting for it. By receiving everything now & without having to work for it, it turns us into ungrateful spoiled brats. We tend to squander & misuse something we received with no effort (on our part).

During the growing process our faith is essential. There is no time for wavering or doubting God’s word. Again patience works along with our faith. Any complaining cancels our faith. Our faith & our patience doesn’t put a demand on God to move right now but it says God this trial is painful but I know you have a purpose & plan so I’m waiting on you & asking you to order my footsteps so you can bring me thru.

While we are going thru our growing pains (trials) it is important to pray, read God’s word, & sometimes fasting. As we go thru in order to get thru (to the next level) it’s not an opportunity to sound the alarm we’re going thru. But it is an opportunity for God to mold us & for him to show us he us everything he said he is.  On the outside we should look cool & calm while in the inside we are ready for battle.

You may not pass the test the 1st time. Don’t get discouraged & quit. Keep taking the test until you pass! Learn from your past mistakes, correct them & keep moving forward. Once you pass one test you will begin to feel confident & and you’ll understand if he helped you pass this one he can help you pass that one. As we begin to grow we are able to help others going thru the same test.

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Don’t Run If You Can’t Walk


If I offend you, I apologise. It’s just I cannot believe how distorted peoples common sense or logic can be. This blog is going to involve the subject of having kids young and rushing relationships. Just to clarify, I do not for one second think that having kids young is a bad thing.. if you are financially and mentally prepared for such life-changing event. But I do think it’s a bad idea if you and your partner are not ready.

Let’s be honest, if you are asked “how well do you know your partner? and how much do you trust them?” the chances are you will say you know them very well and trust them completely. However, if you reflect on your answer a year later, you will probably find that you have learnt a lot about them in the last year and didn’t know them as well as you thought at the time and probably trust them alot more now then you had. The truth is alot of us are willing to believe our relationships are at their best right now. Which leads people into wanting to rush things; co-habiting, kids, marriage etc. But by doing so we miss out on the beauty and greatness that is getting to know each other intensely and maturing as a couple. It’s during the maturing period that problems raise and are solved, insecurities erased and true happiness is achieved.  Ask me if I think me and my partner are there… No but I could see us getting there eventually.  If you rush and don’t go through this maturing period, you will see that all those problems you never gave chance to a raise, will suddenly appear when you least expect it. Like, nine months later when it’s three in the morning there is a baby crying and you have to get up because your partner is passed out after a night with the guys. Or you miss a day a work because your partner has made plans with her friends and hasn’t had a day to herself for weeks.

You can’t just okay full-steam ahead without talking or a plan. things don’t always just work out. You have to work at things. Just remember to have fun before you make a serious choices. You can’t have wild nights out, quiet nights in, spontaneous sex or last minute road trips when you have a child. If you don’t mind missing out on that then good for you and I wish you all the best and I’m sure you will be a great parent. If not, maybe wait just a little while and do some of the stuff you won’t be able to do once you do have a little tyke running around. As once you have a baby, every decision you make will affect that child. As all you sociologists out there know family is the primary agent of socialisation, (meaning the family has one of the biggest impacts on an individuals life). So just remember every one don’t run before you can walk :)

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