Tag Archives: UGLY

Why Is He With Her?

Many people are guilty of looking at a relationship and if one of the people are not what we deem as attractive, rhetorically asking, “Ugh! Why is he even with her?” I am sure some men do this too but for the most part, you hear women say it, as if being “pretty” is the only reason someone could possibly BE with someone else. I have said it before but I know better than to REALLY believe this is the only reason a man could possibly love and marry a woman. Sometimes the most successful relationships are with people who aren’t beauty queens or stunning charmers. People who don’t spend ALL of their free time on “looking good” have time to work on other endearing, everlasting qualities like AND…their personalities.

When I have said it, I can honestly say I was joking because I know better. However, I am beginning to think that some women are dead ass serious when making this statement. It makes me a little concerned. I see all of these blogs, tweets, articles, etc. written about women having problems finding men. Could it be because your focus is on the wrong thing? If you are over 25 and looking to get into a serious relationship, whether you are male or female, your main concern should be how someone is going to treat you. I think it should be a big concern if you are under 25 but most people in that age bracket aren’t trying to settle down with one person so your relationship priorities tend to be different.

Seriously, if your biggest concern is “why is he with her? she’s fat/ugly/can’t dress/etc”, you might not need to be in a relationship at all. Could it be that he actually loves her? Isn’t that what’s most important? I hear and see so many people CLAIM they want a man/woman but what they are projecting doesn’t say that. It says “I want someone to show off to my family and friends”. As you mature, you find out that having a “trophy” for a relationship isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. That’s some high school shit.
If you’re an outsider looking in, there is a plethora of things you’ll never be privy to that makes those two people think the world of each other. I wish people would get that.

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I’m really confused right now–
Not quite sure how to feel which really bothers me. I like to control things and if I am unable to do just that, I start to get a little anxious and I start to get a little crazy. Like most people, I fear what is left unknown to me. I need reassurance and I always need to be in the know. That’s the thing about me, I can’t stand to leave anything alone, especially anything I don’t know the answer to. Right now though, at this specific instance, I feel as if I am trying to figure out an answer to a question that doesn’t have an answer yet. I’m worrying about something I have no control over, I’m trying to fix something that’s not even broken. That isn’t good but that’s part of my problem. I will always be like this. No matter how good someone is to me, that doubt that inevitably always gets to my insecurities, will get in the way which does nothing but push people away.

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Eating Me

Like a crow, it just eats away at me. It eats and it eats and it eats. This built up pain, this built up hurt and anger. It eats away at me. As each day passes, and the crow still feasts, the pieces of me just get less and less. This crow, saving the heart for last. Take me now, take me now, the wounded artery pleads. But the crow, it just keeps on eating. It doesn’t care about sparing the heart, just this one time. Just this one time. It doesn’t care. It just keeps on eating. And as the feast continues, the hearts tolerance of pain disintegrates with every bite. But the crow, it just keeps on eating. It doesn’t care about sparing the heart. As the hurt cuts deeper from the sharp mouth of the crow, the tender heart throbs with anger. But the crow, it just keeps on eating. It doesn’t care about sparing the heart. And as this heart of mine pleads and cries, take me now! Take me now! The crow just keeps on eating. Ignoring those cries and those pleads. Nothing gets through to the stern old crow. His beak coated in dripping blood, he stands there full and satisfied. No remorse for the heart at all. Little does he know, this heart will last him forever and ever. Even as it decays he eats at it just for fun. The faint cries and the faint pleads may still be heard, but the crow just refuses to listen. And if he would listen just this one time, if he would look into the soul of the wounded artery of mine, just this one time. Maybe then he would be able to see. But the crow, it just keeps on eating. It doesn’t care about sparing the heart.

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Too much passion, and too much love fill her veins. Maybe that’s why she cries tears of blood. Streaming down her soft, delicate face, the blood drips slowly. Her eyes welt as she cries over something she will never understand fully. Listen closely, you might hear the sound of her heart as it cracks. Be gentle, for the slightest movement could make the whole thing shatter. Don’t bother asking what’s the matter, the girl with the tears of blood will never tell. She will never open up, she will just pretend to be tough. But don’t let it fool you, deep down inside she has feelings too. Look hard enough you might witness everything she withholds internally, disregard what’s visible on the surface, look past what she let’s be seen externally. She hurts. She cries these tears of blood as the passion rips through her so armored veins. This girl is crumbling. Piece by piece, her whole world is fumbling. She needs a savior to come to her rescue. But no one hears her call. She can’t take it anymore, she can’t take it all. She who cries tears of blood, who guards herself so perfectly, who pretends to be okay, is fighting a battle she just can’t win. The only thing left is to give up, giving up is no sin. It’s alright, everything will be fine, she says trying to reassure her self. But who is she reassuring as her alter go starts to melt. The walls she has enforced are slowly starting to burn down. As the embers fly away, so does everything that has made this girl feel sound. She’s done. Exhausted. Crying tears of blood.

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